Reclaiming Jumping Into the Unknown

[00:00:00] Jessica: What is a purpose driven life? And why is it the one thing that can make all the difference in how we navigate whatever life brings to our door? Join me for a free four day exploration on January 22nd, each day, I'll show you how to create a piece. Of your own spiritual compass. So you can trust yourself, your choices and spirit.

[00:00:26] Jessica: Anytime you're called to take a leap of faith or venture into the unknown. You can find more details on www. jessicapaschke.com. But I've always been a big believer in this idea that the shadow and cracks in our life are where we discover the most light. And I think it's when we're navigating the depths.

[00:00:48] Jessica: When something has agitated the water so much we can't ignore it, that's when the biggest potential for change and transformation arrives on the scene. I think it's the moment that we get this choice. We can keep going on as we always have, or we can take a leap of faith, reclaim our spirit, and move into the unknown.

[00:01:14] Jessica: Your journey to the divine is an intimate exploration of self, where you are both the seeker and the source of enlightenment. I, Jessica Paschke, invite you to break free from the ordinary, to reforge your spiritual path with courage, curiosity, and audacity. Unleash the power of your spiritual connection as stepping into a purpose driven life free of have tos and shoulds.

[00:01:38] Jessica: Join me on this profound exploration of rediscovery, where you'll not only redefine your own spiritual practice, but also inspire a collective awakening. Welcome to Reclaiming Our Spirit.

[00:01:56] Jessica: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the very first episode of Reclaiming Our Spirit. I am so thrilled that you're tuning in. I cannot wait to share season one with you. I have been dreaming of this kind of podcast for a few years now, and to see it come to life is beyond exciting for me. And there are so many delicious topics that we're going to dive into on today's episode.

[00:02:20] Jessica: We're going to chat a little bit about how reclaiming our spirit came to life, like how it came to be. So if we haven't met just very briefly, my name is Jessica Paschke and I am a psychic medium, a certified equity center coach, and an intuitive guide. And I'm. Known for helping people connect directly to themselves, to spirit, and to the world around them.

[00:02:43] Jessica: So those of you who have been hanging out with me or in the same spaces as me for the last decade know that I am an extremely curious person. In fact, I contribute a lot of my spiritual and intuitive growth to all the questions that I ask and the things that I ponder. And I also absolutely love a good story.

[00:03:05] Jessica: I feel like stories are the backbone of our journey here on Earth. The tales that we tell, our lived experiences, our wisdom, it all adds up to one amazing story that is each of our lives. And when we slow down to tell our stories, we begin to see all the spiritual breadcrumbs that have been left along the way.

[00:03:29] Jessica: And we begin to connect the dots and start to see how we've come to where we are in this present moment. So I think it's only appropriate that we begin reclaiming our spirit podcast with a story. Sometimes things are born in the bright light of day, while other times They arrive in the shadows and reclaiming our spirit was birthed during what many people would consider a shadowy time of year.

[00:03:59] Jessica: So much of the planning and the mapping for this podcast happened during this last Mercury retrograde. Then there was the winter solstice. I mean, even the intuitive inspiration for this, this shape and form that came to life happened during eclipse season. An interesting time. To bring something to life.

[00:04:21] Jessica: And I'm sure that there are many people out there who would have avoided working with energy like that. But I've always been a big believer in this idea that the shadow and cracks in our life are where we discover the most light. And I think it's when we're navigating the depths. When something has agitated the water so much we can't ignore it, that's when the biggest potential for change and transformation arrives on the scene.

[00:04:47] Jessica: I think it's the moment that we get this choice. We can keep going on as we always have, or we can take a leap of faith, reclaim our spirit, And move into the unknown. Ah, the unknown, our least favorite place as humans, as humans. We like to know things, the unknown is not our favorite place, but it's also one of the most magical.

[00:05:14] Jessica: Because it holds so much potential in moving us towards who we want to become. I have spent way more time than I probably want to in this lifetime swimming in the unknown waters. Maybe you would call it treading at some times or just clinging to a door only one person can fit on. And if someone were to ask me in those moments, are you a risk taker?

[00:05:38] Jessica: 100%. Even sitting here. In, you know, recording this podcast, I wouldn't say I'm 100 percent a risk taker. But if that same someone were to look at my life story and all the choices that I've made and the decisions that I've come to, they'd probably wonder how the hell I made any of those choices at that moment.

[00:06:00] Jessica: The first question would be, how did you know that was the right choice? I always get that question. How do you know? How do you know, right? How do you trust? And my honest response is, I didn't know that it would be quote unquote, the right choice. I just knew that I couldn't stay where I was. My time as a musical theater actor would be a great example of this.

[00:06:22] Jessica: I don't talk a lot about this period in my life, but it has such a huge influence on who I am as a person and how I got to where I am right now. It's also a very complicated period in my life because, you know, my 20s, they're all for all the things one does in their 20s. So when I got out of high school, I went to college for musical theater.

[00:06:43] Jessica: And it's interesting how one area of our life can create So much agitation and be a catalyst for so much change, even though that's not the intention when you go into it at all. So during my theater years, there were so many leaps that happened in an instant based on gut feeling and just plain intuition.

[00:07:02] Jessica: And the very first one I remember was My mother was driving me up to Duluth, Minnesota, where the college was located to get signed up for freshman year. And I'd been accepted to the college, but I hadn't yet auditioned to get into the vocal performance major specifically. So I still needed to do that.

[00:07:20] Jessica: Now I sang really well, so I was pretty confident that I was going to get in. Still nervous, but confident. And at that time, I had been studying opera and classical music all through high school because that's what my voice teacher said I had to be doing. I should be doing this. One of those shoulds.

[00:07:35] Jessica: We'll talk a lot about that this season. But my real love, since I was very little, was musical theater. I loved musical theater. My mother would put on videos when it was like, especially cold outside and we couldn't go outside to play. We were stuck inside because of snow and cold. And my sister and I would dance and sing along to just every old school musical you can imagine.

[00:07:59] Jessica: I knew all the words. Musical theater has been in my blood way before I decided that I wanted to get an education in that. So once we arrived at the college, I went through the entire audition process and it went great. It was fine. And they were very, very excited about me. And then they handed me off to a very frazzled and overwhelmed TA.

[00:08:20] Jessica: And this poor man was just trying to sign every music department major up for classes at once, not even just the vocal performance majors, like every music department major all at once. And it was like they were just talking at him and he was flustered and the table was just covered in sheets of paper.

[00:08:38] Jessica: Every time I tried to ask a question, I got spoken over and to be honest, as I was looking through the classes, they looked really dry and they didn't really light up my fire, so to speak. And so when I couldn't get his attention or the help that I needed, I ended up wandering away from the table. It was just too much energy, too much chaos.

[00:08:59] Jessica: Um, and even then, even though I wouldn't call myself an intuitive. It definitely was energy sensitive. So I ended up wandering over to visit a friend who was signing up to be a theater major. And the person who was in charge of the theater major table said, do you know that we have a musical theater major program?

[00:09:14] Jessica: Because they saw that I was over there doing vocal performance. And it was at that moment. That I felt my whole being fire up. I did not know they had a musical theater major. And every fiber of my heart wanted to dive right in and start that very moment. I mean, it was like full on body yes. There was no other way forward.

[00:09:39] Jessica: I was jumping in. And my poor mother. I walked in a potential vocal performance major, did the audition and everything, and when I walked out of that little tiny room, I was a musical theater major. She held it together very well. I could tell there was like that slight moment of shock, and then she pulled it together because this wasn't the first time that I'd done this, nor would it be the last.

[00:10:02] Jessica: Her patience with my pivots throughout my lifetime is unending. And her reaction is always the same. Like, whatever I do, she's like, of course you did. So I love it. This idea of jumping in, this idea of saying yes, this idea of really immersing myself happened quite a few times. So the same thing happened after college.

[00:10:21] Jessica: I knew I needed to move to New York City. I'd never been to New York City. I'd never visited New York City. I think the most I'd seen of New York City is in whatever movies were out there, but I was gonna move there because I knew that's where I needed to be. I needed to live in New York City. And so, I packed up a U Haul.

[00:10:37] Jessica: And I drove out with a couple of friends and I ended up living there for a handful of years. And these are the kind of decisions I, I talk about where you move into the unknown, but you just kind of know that it's right. It's like the place that you need to be. It feels right on every single level. Even though logically you have a really hard time explaining it to someone, there's, there's a confidence and a surety about that decision.

[00:10:58] Jessica: Like it's just so clear. And it's kind of this idea of like making these leaps in the light. But, and, then there's this unknown that is more unknowingly, okay, and it stems from a place of, I don't know what's out there, but I know I can't stay here. And those are the journeys that are born from a place of agitation.

[00:11:26] Jessica: Something is happening and you may not even be able to put your finger on it, but you know things have to change because you can't keep. Doing what you're doing. And maybe you've hit a wall or a mountain that you can't get around or over. Maybe it's quieter than that. Something you can't quite put your finger on.

[00:11:47] Jessica: In order to find joy, you have to change. And I've had dozens of stories like that. But I think my first real experience with that kind of unknown was when I left the thing I had grown up wanting to do since I was a kid. Musical theater. And I stepped into the void and it was a void. It was a large, gaping black hole of nothingness.

[00:12:15] Jessica: And like most agitation points, it happened on a normal day because damn those normal days. They always sneak up on you. And I was, I was sitting in a wildly uncomfortable plastic chair. I can picture everything in front of me even to this day. I was waiting to go in for a third callback for a holiday musical of all things in a building that housed hundreds of auditions a day.

[00:12:42] Jessica: It was not a pretty building. It was very stark. It was very sterile. And this was the normal scene for me. I'd get up, I'd do my hair, I'd do my makeup, and I'd go to auditions. All day until my bartending job at night. And I didn't have really any money, but I had enough to pay rent and eat. And that was good enough for the moment.

[00:13:02] Jessica: And so after I got ready that day and I got all warmed up, I'd head to one of the cold, stark buildings that housed these dozens of audition rooms on all these different floors, I mean floors and floors and floors, for different shows. And I would sit in that lovely plastic chair on whatever floor I had to be on that day under the fluorescent lights, listening to people gossip and talk about whatever was happening in the theater world.

[00:13:27] Jessica: And then they'd call my name, and I'd take a really deep breath and try to settle my nerves. Because every time I went into an audition, it just felt like I wanted to crawl out of my body. I just wanted to leave. And maybe at the time, that was a sign. Maybe that was a message, but I didn't see it at the time, right?

[00:13:43] Jessica: I just felt it was, I'm nervous, I'm gonna go in and audition. So I'd go sing for a minute, maybe read something, and then I'd leave. And I would do this multiple times a day. And it felt like torture every single time. I did not enjoy it. This was not a joy filled activity, alright, y'all? I mean they sit there and they judge you for a span of 30 seconds based on just how you look and if you'd work with whatever they thought they needed.

[00:14:03] Jessica: Sometimes you'd go in, you'd put your music down, you'd stand in front of them and they'd tell you no before you even started because you didn't, you didn't look right. And usually you don't hear back from 90 percent of the auditions that you go to. It was definitely a slow descent into insanity that I was actively ignoring because hey, I'm living my dream.

[00:14:22] Jessica: I went to school for this. I got accepted to one of the top vocal teachers in the city. People were always telling me how amazing I sounded. And so all of this discomfort and dread I was feeling, I just shove it in a box because I am living the dream people. And apparently that means I get to feel less than fulfilled because it's the dream.

[00:14:43] Jessica: And I don't give up on my dreams. I'm a very stubborn person sometimes to my detriment. So here I am. In plastic chair number 609 of the day, actively living my dream. And I noticed that across the hall, there were three ladies in their sixties and they were all auditioning for the same thing and they were.

[00:15:01] Jessica: Billing the tea, y'all, like it was gonna be tossed into the Boston Harbor and they had to make the most of what they had. When another woman, who looked just like the ones in front of me, right, it was clear based on everyone's height and build and age and voice that they were all there for the same role.

[00:15:17] Jessica: So she steps up and she says, is this the audition for whatever show it was that they were auditioning for? And all three women stopped talking for the first time in like an hour. Now, I knew it was the audition. And they knew it was the audition. But they all said, nope, not sure where that's happening and went back to talking.

[00:15:34] Jessica: I swear to God, those of you who have been in my classes or worked with me live know I have no ability to control my facial expressions whatsoever. Zero. So I am sure the shock and repulsion on my face was evident. It knocked the breath right out of me. And suddenly I knew I just couldn't anymore. There was no way.

[00:15:57] Jessica: I wanted to be sitting in a freaking plastic chair, in a hall, under fluorescent lights, in my 60s, lying to my competition and gossiping. That sounded like the ninth layer of hell to me. And in that exact moment, I saw that discomfort, that unease, that unfulfillment that had sort of been popping up here and there for what it was.

[00:16:18] Jessica: A shark in the water. And now that shark was actively circling me, looking me in the eye and asking the question, will you stay here in the water with me or will you wake up and get on a different boat? And it's that point where the agitation could no longer be ignored. And this is where I realized that somewhere along the line, my dream had turned into a shark and it was coming at me from all directions.

[00:16:46] Jessica: And I went into that callback and I did my thing. And I never went to another audition again. Shortly thereafter, I found a job as a flight attendant. I loved to travel. Loved to travel. I still love to travel. I love a good adventure. And I promised myself that this was just a temporary break from acting.

[00:17:02] Jessica: I'd do it for a year, just recharge, regroup, do something I love, and then go back into it. I never did. In fact, I didn't sing for almost 10 years after that decision. When I met my husband. He didn't even know I was a singer. I offhandedly mentioned it one day and he sort of chuckled like, Yeah, okay, sure.

[00:17:21] Jessica: And this is before he knew me really well, obviously. And I had stuffed music and singing so far away that when we finally went home to meet my parents, my mom wanted me to sing something. And we had a piano at the house. And so I sat down to play, because I also play piano. I've played it for 20 years.

[00:17:38] Jessica: And he fell off his chair in disbelief. He had no idea. To this day, he jokes, that he fell in love with me at that moment, not because of my voice, but because he, he finally saw the light shine out of me so brightly, he couldn't imagine not being near it for the rest of his life. And so I ended up flying all around for a few years and then leaving New York City completely in about, I think it was like 2008, moving to Puerto Rico for the next four years to be with my future husband.

[00:18:09] Jessica: Another leap of faith story for another time. That moment in the plastic chair. Not only changed my life, but was a metaphor for it. Was it nice to be able to sit? Yes. But the chair was so poorly designed, so hard and so uncomfortable, that a person could never really settle in and relax. My life was this plastic chair.

[00:18:34] Jessica: It wasn't horrendous. It was better than no chair, but it was not comfortable, and it certainly did not bring me joy. And when I finally looked at the chair for what it was, I could no longer ignore what was happening. I knew that to feel fulfilled, I had to do something differently. And I didn't know what it was.

[00:18:51] Jessica: It took me years, y'all, to figure that out after that moment. It wasn't like, oh, I'm stepping into the void and the next day I had my answer. Years. And then some more years. But I did know I couldn't stay there. And that knowing was enough to get me started on an odyssey of reclaiming my spirit. That went so far beyond what I could have imagined for myself.

[00:19:17] Jessica: It's truly a miracle. And that right there is the seed that this podcast grew from. All of those years ago, that was the seed. A spark of light, in the dark, and having the courage to see it for what it was and follow where it led. To a purpose driven life that has been tested time and time again, and proved to be unshakable.

[00:19:39] Jessica: In that moment, I reclaimed my spirit because musical theater was such a huge part of my life for so many years. I often still randomly break out in song. Not a lie, ask any of my friends. Sometimes I even change the words to fit whatever it is that I'm doing. And so when my daughter was little, it absolutely delighted her.

[00:20:00] Jessica: I could make a song out of anything. I could rhyme it. It was brilliant. Now, I think as a teen, she's horrified, but I still do it to her. But if I were to sing a song right now about this podcast, I think one of the first things to pop up would be, uh, my favorite things from The Sound of Music. And I'd probably switch the lyrics all up to include like chocolate and questions, because I love, love, love questions almost as much as I love chocolate, almost.

[00:20:28] Jessica: And I think that just the act of asking a question changes things, even if you don't know the answer. So, in each episode of Reclaiming Our Spirit, I'd like to end with a question, just a little something that you can take away with you to ponder. So, here's episode one's question. And often my questions are multiple questions because I keep questioning, but it's not too much.

[00:20:52] Jessica: They all connect. If you look back on your life, is there a moment where everything changed a moment where you knew you could no longer stay where you were, where you saw the shark in the water for what it was, take some time to ponder. And if you feel moved, email me the gems you come up with. I would love to hear your story.

[00:21:14] Jessica: This is a conversation that we're going to have together. And so I want to hear, how are you moving through the world? What are you doing and what do you want to hear about? What do you want to dive into? So you're always free to email me. At Jessica at Intuitive by the c.com. I read every single one, I promise, and I'd love to hear your story.

[00:21:37] Jessica: That is the end of episode one, and I am so excited for episode two. I cannot wait for you to hear it. I will talk to you soon. Thank you for listening to reclaiming our Spirit. To find out how I can help you reclaim your spirit, reach out to me@www.jessicapasky.com. Leave me a message and I just may share how you reclaimed your.

[00:22:00] Jessica: Spirit in the next episode.