Reclaiming Intentions Over Expectations

[00:00:00] Jessica: What is a purpose driven life? And why is it the one thing that can make all the difference in how we navigate whatever life brings to our door? Join me for a free four day exploration on January 22nd, each day, I'll show you how to create a piece. of your own spiritual compass so you can trust yourself, your choices and spirit anytime you're called to take a leap of faith or venture into the unknown.

[00:00:30] Jessica: You can find more details on www. jessicapacshke.com

[00:00:38] Jessica: The other thing y'all may not know is that so Much of my spiritual ponderings, I guess you could call it, questions, classes, they're actually born from this idea of real life. So what you hear on this podcast and what you read in the newsletter and on social media, it's not some highly curated thing.

[00:00:58] Jessica: It's more really like a window into my brain and my soul. And the things that I talk about are the things that I ponder I've had experience with myself. And they're usually sparked by someone asking me a question. Because those are my love languages. I can answer questions all day.

[00:01:17] Jessica: Your journey to the divine is an intimate exploration of self, where you are both the seeker and the source of enlightenment. I, Jessica Paschke, invite you to break free from the ordinary, to reforge your spiritual path with courage, curiosity, and audacity. Unleash the power of your spiritual connection as stepping into a purpose driven life free of have tos and shoulds.

[00:01:41] Jessica: Join me on this profound exploration of rediscovery, where you'll not only redefine your own spiritual practice, but also inspire a collective awakening. Welcome to Reclaiming Our Spirit.

[00:01:56] Jessica: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the second episode of Reclaiming Our Spirit. I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for tuning in. Uh, for those of you who don't know, creating joy is a big thing for me. Not like just finding joy or seeing it out there, but actively creating it. In fact, joy is one of my values. And because let's be honest, if we wait for joy to come to us, it can take a while.

[00:02:23] Jessica: So I'm a firm believer that we have to sort of find it for ourselves sometimes, or create it for ourselves sometimes, make room, make space for that to happen. And this week, Joy came in the form of a new sweater. So backstory, I live in coastal North Carolina at the moment. Which means that compared to probably the majority of the country, winters are relatively mild.

[00:02:45] Jessica: The thing is that I hate being cold. Like, once I'm cold, it is so hard to get warm again. I even wore hoodies when we lived in Puerto Rico. Like, I really hate being cold that much. And so winter finally arrived here, and there are not enough sweaters in the world right now to keep me warm. And I was procrastinating, picking up holiday decorations that are like scattered throughout the house.

[00:03:09] Jessica: And was flipping through sales emails instead. And I saw this sweater and it was on sale and I thought, well, why not? This sweater is the softest sweater I think I've ever owned on sweater planet. Like you pull it on and it makes everything right in the world. Do you have a piece of clothing that does that for you?

[00:03:27] Jessica: Like when you put it on and you're like, yes, I'm okay again. So my moment of joy this week was in the form of the world's softest sweater. And the sweater assures me, too, that when we finally move to New England, that there's a chance I will actually be born. It's a big concern of mine. Huge concern. The other thing y'all may not know is that so much of my spiritual ponderings, I guess you could call it, questions, classes, they're actually born from this idea of real life.

[00:03:57] Jessica: So what you hear on this podcast and what you read in the newsletter and on social media, it's not some highly curated thing. It's more really like a window into my brain and my soul, and the things that I talk about are the things that I ponder I've had experience with myself, and they're usually sparked by someone asking me a question, because those are my love languages.

[00:04:18] Jessica: I can answer questions all day. So the other day someone asked me how. I take all of my spiritual tools, my practices, and theory, and how do I weave it into my life? And how is a really big question in all of my spaces. How do I do this? How do you do this? Like everyone, the question is how. I've realized, not even why, just how.

[00:04:37] Jessica: It's like they know the why, now tell me how to do it. But with this question, I had to pause because my first thought was sort of flippantly, I just do, but that's not really true. Somewhere along the way, I must have made the connection that doing that paid off in some way. And so I was like searching my brain for that period of time when it wasn't just sort of second nature that I actually had to consciously choose to do it and I had to kind of sift through the years my memory isn't, isn't a fantastic tool.

[00:05:06] Jessica: I mean, I remember some things very clearly and then others I have no recollection at all. Like there was this time apparently in college when we were going down this, there was this really steep hill. Apparently I was a passenger in a car where the brakes went out, and at the bottom of the hill is Lake Superior.

[00:05:21] Jessica: So like, you really don't want the brakes to go out on this hill, and it was really steep. Somebody brought it up the other day and I had no idea. No recollection of it at all. So, I really had to sift through my Through my years and, and I realized that at one point I had had my spiritual life in one space and my life life, if we want to call it that.

[00:05:41] Jessica: in another and they were completely separate. So I'm in the meditation room, clearing my mind, saying hello to my guides, asking them, okay, what do you got for me? And then I would walk out of the room and I would switch into being human, totally separate. And then it morphed to, I need to make my spiritual self, my real life.

[00:06:03] Jessica: Okay. So what I thought that looked like was sort of talking about spirit stuff all the time, constantly changing my thoughts and monitoring them. Probably bypassing a ton of stuff, I'm gonna be honest. Being harsh on myself when, when I was less than spiritual. Just trying to like live this perfect spiritual being life, which is absolutely hilarious because that doesn't exist, I don't care who you are.

[00:06:26] Jessica: Like you can never live up to perfect spiritual being, you just can't, and who would want to? So then I realized, okay, keeping them separate didn't work, making it all spiritual didn't work, and I sort of got stuck there. And I just kind of hung out in the in between for a really long time. One day, it's always one day with me, one day, like in the first episode, one day I was sitting there, I figured out.

[00:06:50] Jessica: That the two lives weren't really different at all. They existed at the same time, and if I wanted to thrive, then I had to move through the world fostering that connection between soul and human. And the periods where there was the greatest unrest were when I forgot that, and a disconnect happened between the two.

[00:07:12] Jessica: And that's kind of where I think things got really interesting, or really dicey, if you will, is where. When I didn't remember that I'm both a soul and I'm a human. And the reason I bring this up is because I don't think that this connection is talked about enough in the spiritual world. Most of the content and the stuff you see out there just focuses on the soul part.

[00:07:32] Jessica: But they never really tell you how to connect it with the human experience. And so when I was creating this podcast, I really wanted to focus on this idea of bringing real life and soul life together, because the spiritual realm is amazing, and We're human. So there's this real life aspect that we need to juggle and balance.

[00:07:55] Jessica: And really what I think about when juggling and balancing, the two of pentacles always comes up. It's this card with this person kind of like hopping up and down, juggling these two round coins, constantly juggling and balance isn't something that's stagnant, it's constantly in motion and real life is something that cannot be stopped or put on pause.

[00:08:14] Jessica: You can't just pause real life and be spiritual and then hit play again. Real life is constantly happening in everything we do because hello, we're humans and we're in bodies, whether we like it or not. And we can't get away from that. Just looking at the spiritual side of things and not at the human or even vice versa, right?

[00:08:30] Jessica: Just looking at the human stuff and not the spiritual stuff. You're really not going to make any headway forward. Or if you do, it's going to be a bit of a struggle, right? It's going to be a bit of a challenge. There will always be things that happen. Or come up and we need to work on them as a whole being.

[00:08:47] Jessica: Having a spiritual perspective and tools can help us with what gets us through the real life part and maybe even enjoy the real life part a bit. But also having the human part helps us not only to learn, which is really what the spiritual books write it off as. Oh, the human part, that's what helps you learn.

[00:09:03] Jessica: Well, yeah, but like, great. Like, why does it have to be this, this thing that only helps us learn? Having that human part helps us to really enjoy. And become part of everything that this amazing place we call Earth has to offer. I mean, have you ever seen a hummingbird? Or smelled the salty air of the sea?

[00:09:24] Jessica: Or tasted chocolate? Totally human Earth things, and yet fantastically amazing. You wouldn't want to miss that. And so it was really interesting because when I sat down to bring this episode to life, I was actually sitting there looking at it through a really spiritual lens and I was getting stuck because I wanted to talk about Claire's and the way that we received messages from spirits.

[00:09:50] Jessica: Claire's are how spirit communicates with us and how we pick up psychic information or energy around us and distill that into words. And so we can hear things, see things, feel things, know things. And I still want to talk about that in depth in a different episode, but something actually happened. And I want to tell you that story.

[00:10:05] Jessica: I sat down to write this episode and I couldn't write it. And I've done so much on Claire's and how they pop up in real life. And yet it was nothing. I was just like, wow, I have nothing new to say right now in this moment about this. And so I stepped away for a hot second. Because nothing ever comes from forcing.

[00:10:20] Jessica: I have learned that. And I tossed it over to Spirit and I said, Okay, I need a helping hand with this. Let me know what you got. Because I gotta record this. There's like deadlines. There's human things. And then I dove into my week. Now, the best part of weaving human and spirit are spiritual breadcrumbs that spirit leaves for you.

[00:10:39] Jessica: These are like little trails of synchronicities or coincidences or clues that really get you where you need to be. It can really make you feel like real life is 100 percent full of magic, for sure. These little breadcrumbs. I love it. One of my favorite things. I pushed back for a week that turned into two that turned into three.

[00:11:00] Jessica: Supposed to be writing this episode ahead of time because I'm trying to balance my life in ways. that are healthy. And that first week was full of clients. And I noticed that during energetically challenging times like the end of the year, mercury retrograde, solar eclipses, lunar eclipses, right? Any eclipse season.

[00:11:18] Jessica: A lot of people want to work one on one because a lot of stuff comes up during that time and they're like, Oh, I can't ignore it. I gotta, I gotta work this out. Totally get that. But when I have a lot of clients that I'm working with, I'll also notice that a pattern or a theme rises up for those periods of times.

[00:11:36] Jessica: So it's like things are being brought to the table and unbeknownst to each person, the person before and the person after are struggling with the exact same theme. So of course, hand off my podcast to spirit and then that next week had a theme and that theme ended up running like into a month. Now I wrote the podcast.

[00:11:56] Jessica: episode and somewhere in there, but it actually ran quite a long time. Spirit was definitely working overtime to get me to pay attention, I think, to what episode two needed to be about. And the theme that was running through all of these sessions, that was running through my friend's lives, my lives, all of these things, in its most basic form or level, everyone was struggling with expectations.

[00:12:17] Jessica: So according to Merriam Webster dictionary, expect means to consider probable or certain, to consider reasonable, do, So each person entered the session struggling with something and at the root of this struggle was expectations. They believed that certain things either needed to happen or that by X, Y, and Z they should, and I put that in quotes, should be at a certain place in life because that's what society had told them.

[00:12:47] Jessica: Expectations. So I decided to take the word to, into meditation. Because. I, you know, I pay attention and I know that spirit will just get louder if I don't, and it was clear this was a thing, so I wanted to get spirits take on it. And I sat down in my favorite meditation spot and I took maybe two deep breaths and the devil card just dropped right in from the tarot.

[00:13:11] Jessica: And this isn't unusual. Actually, a lot of tarot practitioners will tell you that once they start really working with the cards, spirit or higher self will start dropping in messages using the images of the cards, even when the cards aren't present. It's really cool, but it hasn't happened for a while. So I really sat up and paid attention and it's kind of like, An interesting card anyway, if you're not familiar with it, the devil is centered on the card, on a stone throne.

[00:13:32] Jessica: One hand is pointing up, one hand is pointing down with a torch in it. And in front of this kind of mythical creature are two humans with chains around their necks, and the chain is latched to the base of the devil's stone throne. And there's fire around their feet. And it sounds absolutely awful, like, Oh my God, spirit, why are you showing this in relation to expectation?

[00:13:54] Jessica: But if you look closer, always look closer, the chains around their necks are loose and they could easily slip them off. And the flames aren't touching their feet at all. So this is not something that's being done to them. And the devil's in the same pose as the magician card. So there's this sense that they're in a place of their own making.

[00:14:13] Jessica: And that they could leave at any time. And that's really what this card is talking about, is being bound and attached to things like beliefs, ideas, stories. And then when I kind of hit that point, then almost immediately after that, the lovers popped up into my head. So you got to love it when spirit uses a system that you understand, made it really clear, didn't have to guess this time.

[00:14:34] Jessica: And the lover's card has an angel centered with two people on either side, just like the devil, but there are no chains. Instead, it's a fruit tree on the left and a tree of fire on the right. And instead of a stone throne, a mountain rises up under the angel. So same exact placement, completely different meaning.

[00:14:53] Jessica: The lovers is about choice and relationships, not just to others, but to ourselves and being in alignment with our values. Interesting. So why did Spirit drop these in? When it comes to expectations, because expectations are not usually rooted in ideas and beliefs that we value, they're created by something that's external to us.

[00:15:15] Jessica: So for example, by 30, I need this much money in my bank account or this kind of job, or by 40, I need to own a house and be solid in a career that brings me joy and fulfills my ultimate purpose here on earth. By 65, I want to retire and have all the money so I can do all the things. Or my intuition or connection to spirit needs to look exactly like, insert famous psychic name here, whoever you kind of put up on a pedestal, or you're not really psychic.

[00:15:41] Jessica: Or I need to be able to run a marathon in order to be called a runner. But you see, these are just tales that we've told ourselves, and some of these tales come from societal expectations. While others come from our life experience or what has actually happened to us, the beliefs that surround us from our personal experience, and that's where expectations are often born from, it's a really dangerous place because they don't anchor into what we know to be true about ourselves.

[00:16:09] Jessica: They don't. Line up with what we personally believe in value. So here we are pushing and fighting to meet some thing that actually doesn't reflect who we are or what we even want. And it can leave us frustrated and angry, stressed, overwhelmed. Honestly, in tears, sleepless nights, all for something that was never ours to begin with.

[00:16:33] Jessica: And so when we look at the devil card and we look at the lover card, spirit is asking us this question. What have we bound ourselves to? And is that the choice we want to make? Is that the expectation reflecting our values and our intentions? Is it that expectation? Is that, is that moving us closer to a purpose driven life?

[00:16:56] Jessica: Or, is it anchoring us into a place that is wildly uncomfortable with no place to grow, for absolutely no good reason. And when you look at expectations like that, you realize that it's probably time to toss them out the door, because they're not in alignment with who you are or who you want to become.

[00:17:15] Jessica: You know, expectations, they move us off of solid ground. They move us out of our present moment and into a place that feels heavy and dark. And when our intentions, which are a healthier version, I think, when our intentions rooted in our values, then what we know to be true about ourselves, intentions bring us closer to who we want to become.

[00:17:35] Jessica: Those are the things that we want to pursue. And that may not look like having a certain number in your bank account or retiring at 65 or running a marathon. And that is perfectly and absolutely wonderful. Because each of us is unique and has a different path to follow and if we were all supposed to do what everyone else was doing we would have reincarnated as a lemming and run off the cliff with every other lemming.

[00:17:57] Jessica: Today, as you ponder this idea of expectations versus intentions or if intentions, that word, triggers you, expectations versus not expectations, take a few moments to look at your present moment. You don't even have to, like, go back through your whole life. Just the present moment is where it's at. Take a glance at what's happening right now.

[00:18:17] Jessica: The choices you're making, how you feel is what you're doing rooted in who you want to become. Or is it rooted in who someone or something expected you to be? And that's this episode's question. I'd love to hear the answers you come up with. Send me an email. With your discoveries. And who knows? With your permission I may even share it on one of the episodes or in the Patreon.

[00:18:36] Jessica: We're going to be having a lot of delicious conversations this season. Some with guest speakers, but many with just you and I. I feel like most conversations have so many layers that we never get the time to really get into. So if you'd like to dive deeper into the conversations that we're having here on Reclaiming Our Spirit, I'd love for you to join the podcast Patreon.

[00:18:57] Jessica: Depending on your tier, you'll get a shout out, be able to watch the episodes on video, and even have the opportunity to tune in for weekly pick a card readings. And two additional spiritual musings or stories. This is your official invite. If you've enjoyed what you're listening to, and you want to support the podcast, hop on over to reclaiming our spirit, Patreon, and pick the tier that works for you.

[00:19:16] Jessica: Just check the show notes for more details or head over to www. jessicapaschke. com. Thank you for listening to reclaiming our spirit. To find out how I can help you reclaim your spirit, reach out to me at www. jessicapaschke. com. Leave me a message and I just may share how you reclaimed your spirit in the next episode.