Why I Stopped Trying to Do the Summer Solstice Right

I love seeing and reading about rituals for the Summer Solstice.


The flowers, the herbs, the incense. Meeting up in circle at the exact moment the sun sets. Gathering in groups to connect and do something fun that celebrates the longest day of light in the year.


There’s something so magical about it all. And for years, I’d push myself to come up with ideas and ways to make it special.


But then the Solstice would arrive and I’d either forget to plan something, it was raining, someone was sick or my family wanted to do something else. There was always something it seemed. 


And for a long time I struggled with that. The feeling that I “should” be doing more on this important day of the year. That if I was really dedicated to this spiritual path, I’d be out there with the best of them living my best ritual life, communing with nature and earth.


And each year the Solstice would come and go and leave me wondering: Why couldn’t I pull myself together? What couldn’t I make the Summer Solstice a spiritual practice like it needed to be?


It wasn’t until years later that I figured out it wasn’t me or my life that was the issue. I was trying to mimic someone else’s practice, when what I needed was to anchor into what supported me in that moment instead.


It turns out that for me, that it was lighting some incense in the morning and bringing in fresh flowers from the garden to go on my altar. And then later in the evening sitting outside and watching the sun set with my family. Some years that was from a beach or a mountain top and other years all I could pull together was making it out into the back yard with a cup of tea. 


And that was ok. Because I was holding space in a way that resonated with who I was, what was important to me, and in a way that was doable.


Our spiritual practices have to connect and work with our real lives or we will never do them.


If the circles and the rituals and the more complicated practices work for you, that’s fantastic. I love to see what everyone does. But, for me, it was just another thing weighing me down that I wasn’t doing well enough.


And if anything will disrupt our connection to ourselves and to spirit, it’s the weight of the should. Attempting those practices in a life that has a lot of unknowns was moving me further away from what I needed.


Now, I can really enjoy the day and just be present, soaking up the sun and spending time connecting with my family.


And…


This year I’m mixing it up a bit and getting a bit more fancy because life has stabilized enough that I can do that. 


I’m heading to Mystic CT for the weekend to attend a creative residency and (finally!!) meet some friends I’ve been in relationship with online for over 3 years. 


We’re going to have dinners together, think about our businesses and lives in new ways, and I imagine we’ll spend a lot of time laughing. 


And then, of course, I’ll sneak in my sunset practice at the end of the day, heart open and soul full.

Last Updated:
June 17, 2026